Growing Up / Hannah Capers (Teammate/friend)Read >>
Growing Up / Hannah Capers (Teammate/friend)
It sucks growing up without you. As our group of friends and teammates get older and go off in our own ways (most of us to swim somewhere), I can't help but be sad sometimes. It feels like we're leaving you behind. I wish you were at Chiles-- going to homecoming with a lucky girl, getting your license, copying your homework from some Asain in your class because Lord knows you didn't do it, going to states, sneaking off in the trunk of someone's car for lunch. I wish you got to experience all these things with us and so much more.
But I also know you are not left behind at all. I know you are in Tuscaloosa, Auburn, Gainesville, Colorado, Tallahassee, Cairo, and a thousand other places growing older and going on adventures with all of us. I try to remember that when I get sad. I tell myself I can't afford to be unhappy for one second because I've gotta live with enough love and positivity and gratitude and joy for the both of us. I'm so thankful to have you here with me. I can feel you laughing at me as I die in practice and telling me to turn my feet out when I kick cus you always thought it was faster.
Please never leave us, Mac. We might forget some things and not cry for you as often but our love for you and your family is as strong as ever. Thank you for bringing our ATAC family closer than we could ever imagined. We are who we are because of you.
Love you lots
your Hannah Close
A Friend I Never Had. / Michael Duderstadt (A friend I never had )Read >>
A Friend I Never Had. / Michael Duderstadt (A friend I never had )
Hello there Mac, I first would like to introduce myself because I was not fortunate enough to have known you before. My name is Michael Duderstadt, but you can call me Duder. I am from Panama City, Florida just down the road. Now you might be wondering why I am randomly introducing myself to you. But over the past four years I have been lucky enough to meet many of your friends and your amazing family. And these people speak nothing but absolutely amazing things of you. Whether it be from how much fun they had with you or how awesome of a swimmer you were. And, one of my personal favorites, how much you loved Auburn. And I think how cool it would be to have had the opportunity to host you on your recruiting trip here. I also hear a lot about how big your heart is. And I know this is very true because of the lasting legacy you have left behind for everyone to not only remember, but also show. And it is the love coming from this big heart that allowed me to meet all of our mutual friends. And I thank you so much for that. And it is not only me who has been shown this love but many people all over. I was actually wearing a MAC shirt around campus the other day and was stopped by a girl from Thomasville and she asked me about it. Well, it is getting rather late here and I'm sure there to so I'll let you get going. But I hope you continue watching over everyone spreading your love and joy throughout. Because without them, I would never be standing here in front of you today introducing myself.
My Lonesome Cowboy / Haley Hinson (Best friend )Read >>
My Lonesome Cowboy / Haley Hinson (Best friend )
Not a day goes by I don't think of you. You're 16 now and if you were here you would be bragging saying you get your license before me but only by 11 days. You have the most amazing soul and kind heart that any one could ask for. I'm starting to forget the little things about you. All I remember is your voice. I have pictures but they're not the same. Don't forget me down here, bud, everyone else has. I miss our old life, old friends, and the good 'ole ways. I still wish it could be the same, but I know that can't ever come true because you're missing and there will always be a hole.
Mac please watch over your father, sister, and mother. I always pray for them and I know they have a battle to face everyday that you aren't here, just let them know that I'm always here, have been by there side, and always will be. I love you with all of my heart, happy birthday Mac.
Today is your birthday / Donna Smiley (Aunt)Read >>
Today is your birthday / Donna Smiley (Aunt)
Hi Mac! Today is your birthday. Hmmm...I think I just heard you say "duh Aunt Donna!". :-)
Anyway it has me feeling so sad because it represents an important milestone: 15 - learner's permit - starting high school. But then I picture myself having a conversation with you about this and it begins to feel really small compared to your description of heaven.
Yes we all miss you terribly and every milestone reminds us of how much we are missing you but I'm sure you would tell me that everything's okay. You are with Him and I know you wouldn't trade that for a learner's permit so I'm trying very hard to see this from your perspective. I'm human so this journey is sometimes very difficult to understand but I must say that I really like the idea of you sitting next to me when I get to heaven and being the one to explain everything to me and showing me the ropes.
Hugs/ Sara Morgan Cox (Friend)
I miss you more and more everyday. I catch myself thinking about you more and more latley also. I guess it's because we are getting closer and closer to the end of the school year and i still cannot belive it has almost been three years. I cannot wrap my mind around the last time i saw you was in 6th grade walking down the hall leaving the school that was almost three years ago three years since i have seen that face that i thought would be there the following monday. In these 3 years there has been some major changes to my life. And about 99% of them would not of happened if it wasn't for augustus 23 2008. I do believe everything happens for a reason and that everything will work out in the end but i miss you way to much. Sometimes i wonder how things would be if you were still here i dont think i would be anything like the person i am now I may only be fourteen but i have learned alot in those fourteen years and most of the things i have learned has been in the last three years of my life.
I am grateful enough know when life gets rough to look up to you and i know you will always be there for me! Sometimes i think that i can hear you telling me what do and telling me that everything will be ok. I would give anything to be able to give you a big valentines day hug and smell your chlorine smelling hair! words cannot express how much i miss you. Sometimes i imagine that i hear your laugh not understanding why i cannot hear it.
I cant wait to get up there with you to be able to get one of those hugs...please send me a sign thats telling me that your ok and looking over us<3
i love and miss you more that the world could ever say! to the moon and back a trillion times a thousand and three:) Close
My dearest friend Mac / Sarah Mattis (Friend)Read >>
My dearest friend Mac / Sarah Mattis (Friend)
Wow things have completely changed my life. One minute we were out of school for Faye and the next we are sitting at your funeral. I miss those years when we swam together. I know Savannah used to brag all about you all the time. She loved you and she thought it was way cool how you swam and won a lot of ribbons. Its been so long that she hardly recognizes me. I miss those days when you Savannah Tommy and me were best friends. Also we can't forget James. I really miss seeing your face at practice. It is not the same. I look up to heaven and I ask God why it had to be you. I ask myself this just about everyday. Everyone misses you. Some days at school we even have days when we talk about all the memories we have of you. The bravery of your family is what keeps me going when I think my life isnt doing to well. I love you and will always love you!!! Close
His Light Still Shines / Cody Schuyler (Friend of the Smiley Family )Read >>
His Light Still Shines / Cody Schuyler (Friend of the Smiley Family )
Mr. and Mrs. Crutchfield
I never had the honour of meeting Mac in person but I feel like I know him just as well from how often I heard stories from Jordan. There would be days where we might simply sit on the couch and talk about Mac's incredible personality his roguish good looks and unparalleled athletic ability in the swimming pool. All this in the vessel of a twelve year old boy. I can honestly say that I've never met his equal. Mac is a truly special human being...one whom I strive to emulate even today. His passing was the biggest tragedy I have ever experienced and that sadness still resonates with me these two years since. He had an enduring light within him and it will never ever disappear. I promise you never was anyone more loved during life and after by both family and friends as well as this stranger. I miss him though we never met and he still treads on in my heart and mind often.
My condolences and love to you and your family
MY GOOD FRIEND MAC / Michael Morris (friend)Read >>
MY GOOD FRIEND MAC / Michael Morris (friend)
Their is not much to say about a death but i know their is a lot to say about being friends with mac and going to school with him. Playing football with all of us every morning and every time we had fun after lunch.i wish you was alive so i could play football with you one kast time miss you bud so much.
been thinking bout u:) / Emili T. (friend:))Read >>
been thinking bout u:) / Emili T. (friend:))
Mac i miss you so much. its hard to believe that its been almost two years. i remember 2 years ago your mom told me that its hard right now but something good will come out of it well guess what something good has come out of it. you have no idea how much you have changed my life. now i'm not afraid to take a chance because i know you'll hold me up. we have become so much closer all because of you. its going to be hard monday but we'll know your where GOD wants you. i know you are having the best time up there and now i'm not afraid to die now because i know where i'm going and i know i'll be able to see you again. i love you so much. be with Jake Elkins family as they go through the same thing we did 2 years ago. i love you so much. you and your family will always be in my
thinking about you / Sara Morgan Cox
Mac! wow what can i say look at us now from two years ago. When you past your mom said something good will come out of this and look it did. I have learned to not take this precious time we have have for granted to live you life and not to have any regrets. To be smart about your actions and remember who your true friends are.
Jake Elkins past this friday and i think about their family and what their going through because i know. i know what it feels like to loose some one who has been there for me since i was 2 to loose not only a best friend but a brother and a part of my family. I miss you so much Mac Crutchfeild you don't even know. I cant believe how much all of us are are growing up and becoming young women and men.
When we started school last friday i thought about Savannah and how we were her age when you grew your wings and flew to heaven with Jesus. I have the best guardian angel in the world to look over me always and forever. I know you are having the best time up there in heaven. And believe me i cannot wait to be up there with you and i'm not scared because i know where im going.
I think about you everyday Mac. I think about you your mom dad and priss. I think about how strong they are and i look up to them so much even savannah. I am looking out for priss for you just like you would want me to do. we fight sometimes with each other but thats what we do thats why she is just like my little sister thats why i love her so much. Thats why i love Mrs maggie and Mr. charlie so much because how they are always there no matter what and how much they do for us. I think so much of them.
Mac thank you. thank you for bringing us all together because if you didn't i would be like the other girls at the other middle schools that say all of this stuff about there friends and how they think so much of each other but i don't think any body in the world has the bond that we have now with our friends so thank you Mac. thanks for everything thanks for the hurt this put us through to result into this one big happy family:) i love and miss you so much:) and its not goodbye...soo see you later buddy! Close
MISS YOU! / Sarah Black (friend)
Mac oh goodness words cannot describe how much everyone misses you. I just want to say that your family is so amazing! They have let me be involved in so much! Your birthday and now this weekend your foundation dinner! Taylor Mr. Tony Mrs. Cheryl and myself miss you so much and talk only good things about you all the time! Please be with us this weekend and be with your parents and Savanah and all of your other family and friends. I am so ready to honor your memory more and more and do as much as I can to keep your memory alive. Take a dive for me i love youuuu!!!!!! Close
Just a note / Marianne (Aunt of Taylor, One of Max's many new friends )Read >>
Just a note / Marianne (Aunt of Taylor, One of Max's many new friends )
Dear Max's Mom
Thank you for visiting Taylor site and writing such a nice and thoughtful message it means so much. Your so right that Max and Taylor must of certainly met by now they seem so mucn a like. It was just three years on Jan. 15th that Taylor became an angel but it seems like yesterday she was sitting laughing on the couch at Christmas but yet it seems like a 100 yrs. We know she's in heaven having a great time as with Max.
I'm not sure if you are farmilar with "Pennies from Heaven" we find pennies and coins all the time in the middle of the floor and know they weren't there just a minute ago. Angels send signs to let you know their OK and having fun not to worry. Remember there is no time in heaven so when it does come to the time to be reunited with Max he will be just like the last time you hugged him and to Max it will seem like yesterday. I will forever now raise my face to the rain and catch the drops for Max. Watch for all kinds of signs everyday! We have experienced many and believe smile and say "Thanks Max". Remember it's not Good Bye It's see ya in a Bit
Hey Mac! I've been thinking about you alot and I just wanted you to know that I love you and miss you. It gets hard sometimes but I know that I can look up to the sky and know you are there blessing us and watching over us and that you are with us every step of the way. I wanted you to know that you've created such a beautiful bond between your family and friends and that you've brought us together under you wing.
Thank you so much Mrs. Maggie Mr. Charlie and Savanah for everthing you have done for me and given me and all the help and oppertunities you've offered me. To Mrs. Maggie: You have taught me so much in the past year. You taught me to cherish every single moment you have with everybody because life is so short and precious. And to just have as much fun as you can with the people you love because you never know which moment will be your last. Thank yall so much and I love yall so much!
I've really loved growing closer to your family Mac. Yall are some phenomenal people. You are very loved and greatly missed by many. I can't wait to see you again in Heaven. I love you so much and miss you very much! See you soon.
A Garden in Full Bloom / Lorien Abbey (Mother of a Teammate )Read >>
A Garden in Full Bloom / Lorien Abbey (Mother of a Teammate )
I sat in the backyard of my friends The Crutchfields yesterday afternoon watching countless children teenagers and adults have an absolutely fabulous day of "summer time" fun. It wasn't anyone's birthday. There wasn't a wedding going on; nor was this a back-to-school celebration. All of these people had gathered to celebrate everything good about being young having friends and family and enjoying life. It was a perfect day: clear skies gentle breeze moderate temperatures a grill car loads of coolers and more food than necessary. Life my friends is truly a gift. It can be snatched away from you without warning and in the mere blink of an eye. I kid you not.
It has been a year since we and I say this from the heart when I say we lost Mac. It was the worst of all scenarios and conditions. Nothing positive can come of rehashing what really happened. Nothing good can come of dwelling on the moment the hour the day the weekend. Let it suffice to simply say that Mac is gone. The lucky ones among us are granted a glimpse of him every now and then in our mortal and every day lives. I swear I saw him just the other day (as an egret if you recall). Coach Terry has seen Mac as an Eagle. Jean and I agree and anyone who listened and watched yesterday will have no choice but to also agree that Mac was there with all his friends. I could hear it in the laughter and see it on every face in the bright eyes and generous smiles. No one spoke a harsh word. There was no arguing no fighting no "Girl Drama" and calm and peace prevailed as the dominant attitude. Savannah seemed more like herself than I had seen in a long time. Charlie bless the strong and silent ones appeared to be comfortable with the gathering and the attention showered upon him and his family. Maggie was well... Maggie was in her element. The kids all love her. There was not a child present who didn't feel as if they were Maggie's favorite. She just exudes that emotion onto them. They calm down; they begin to glow; they love her and she them.
Maggie and Charlie have taught me a great deal this past year. How I should be stronger in my faith. Without their faith and God they would have been lost and swallowed before the first 24 hours had even passed. They Maggie especially have taught me how to better embrace each moment and cherish it. You truly never know when the last time will be that you lay eyes on your child. I believe as a part of that lesson God gave me a summer of unemployment to spend with my boys. I may never again have time with them like I did this summer. It was wonderful. I would not trade it for the most lucrative job on the planet. I learned that it's okay to not answer a phone call or an e-mail until you are ready and can handle the response. But I also learned not to stop calling or texting or e-mailing just because there has been no response. Sometimes the message just needs to get there now answer required. Yes I have learned a lot. I can only hope that it makes their loss a bit easier to know that someone outside the immediate took something positive away from the tragedy - if that could be...
Last year a friend of Maggie's told her that her job was not over. She had been given a garden to tend not just two plants. Her job was now to tend her garden (of children) not just the flowers of her two children. Her garden was in full bloom yesterday. Not one of those flowers will ever forget yesterday.
I love and miss you! / Sarah Beth Black (Friend)Read >>
I love and miss you! / Sarah Beth Black (Friend)
Mac, i love and miss you more than words can express. Everything has changed in so many ways since you have been gone. I cherish every memory i have of you everyday.
My favorite memory took place the day before you passed. My mom and your mom picked us up at the same time that day. I was sitting in my moms car waiting for her and my sister, and you come out, when it was raining, and throw all of your stuff in the back of your moms car. And something told me that i should look at you as if it was the last time. So i did. I never knew that it would be the last time that i would ever see you.
My other favorite but funny memory of you is one day we were having lunch at school. I was in front of the microwave, and you were heating up your food. And you just stared at me and acted all cool. But, you were beyond cool. I just sat there and thought, thats just you.
Mac, your the reason that i still have hope and the reason for the smile on my face. I never thought this day would come this soon. Whenever i see your mom, dad, or sister, i feel so welcome with open arms. I thank your family for letting me be apart of your wonderful but short life.
Thank you Mr. Charlie, Mrs. Maggie, and Savanah for all that you have done for me. You all were very lucky to have had him as a son and big brother. I love you all and you all continue to be in my prayers.
I came across this poem by E. E. Cummings and I think it expresses what many of us feel about Mac. I know with complete certainty that this is true for Maggie, Charlie, and Savanah - they carry Mac's heart.
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart) i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet) i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
Has God Left Our Side? / Megan Walker (A Good Friend )Read >>
Has God Left Our Side? / Megan Walker (A Good Friend )
Has God left our side? Through the lowest and saddest times of our lives the events are hard to bear. Mac’s death is beyond any of the worst experiences of my life. I tell myself that things will get better, but it seems they only get worse. Has God Left our side?
The fact that Mac will not be here with us seems fictional to me. Although we may not be able to see Mac, I believe he is by our side in soul and sprit every step of the way. He will be with us when we laugh, and when we cry, he will comfort us when we are in need. Mac hasn’t left our side, but has God?
I have had rough times through my life, but nothing can compare to this. For all the other hard times I have been through the end was always better then the beginning, even though the pain is still there. Will this tragic event get better? They say that there will be a light at the end. Is that really true?
I look back at all the tough times I have experienced, they all ended may not have ended quickly but they ended. So why can’t this one? I realized that the Lord hasn’t left us through this crisis. For He gave us Mac as a gift and gave us Mac’s love, friendship, and memories to be something tangible to guide us. The Lord has been carrying us through this. And when the pain seems the worse, he reminds us of Mac’s love and not of our pain for that moment. The Lord is showing us to the light…
In loving memory of Mac Crutchfield. Mac you have truly touched my life, and many more. You will never be forgotten, you shall always remain in our hearts forever and always. Mac Crutchfield a teammate, a friend, a brother, a son.
Dear Mac, Today is the day to celebrate your love and comittment of swimming. So many swimmers have signed up (430) to celebrate your life. Me, Dad and Savanah continue to be so proud of the young man you are and the friendships you built. Because of you, we have in returned been been blessed by those same friendships with the kids.
I am asking God and you to watch over us all this weekend and safe travel for everyone. Please help us all show sportsmanship and remember that we are their to watch the kids do the best they can. Also be there with the kids to help them stay strong, kick hard and have smooth strokes.
Please be Savanah's own guardian angel. This will be a hard weekend of mixed emotions. Please swim with her during her 500 free, she will need you since this is the first heat in the water after your song.
As you know this will be hard for everyone who knew you and I want you to know how much you are loved and missed. Cece, Lily, Alex D, Alex M, Scott, Sergey, Corry, Megan, Alysse, Allyssa, Hannah, Delaney, Katlyne, Caleb, Sherridon and the Highlander boys.
We love you very much and hope that we will make you proud. Thank you for being a great son, brother and friend. May we all carry your compassion and comittment with us as we go down our paths of life.